How to Keep Going When You've Lost Someone You Lived For
Losing someone who meant the world to you is one of life’s most profound challenges. When you’ve built a life around that person, moving forward can feel almost impossible. It’s normal to feel like a part of you is missing or that life has lost its meaning. But with time, self-compassion, and support, it’s possible to find a new path forward. Here are some ways to help you keep going when you’ve lost someone you loved deeply.
1. Allow Yourself to Grieve Fully
Grieving is natural and necessary. Give yourself permission to feel everything—whether it’s sadness, anger, confusion, or even relief. There’s no “right” way to grieve, and there’s no set timeline. Allowing yourself to feel these emotions can help you heal over time.
Try This: Journaling can be a powerful way to process your grief. Write about your feelings, memories, and even the moments you miss the most. This can help you stay connected to those memories in a way that feels comforting.
2. Surround Yourself with Support
Sometimes, just knowing you’re not alone can make all the difference. Reach out to friends, family, or support groups, even if it’s hard. Talking with people who understand, or even just being in their presence, can remind you that others care for you and want to help. Support can come from loved ones, grief counselors, or online communities—whatever feels right for you.
Tip: Seek out grief support groups or counseling. Many find comfort in talking to others who are also navigating loss, as they can offer understanding and empathy.
3. Honor Their Memory in Meaningful Ways
Keeping your loved one’s memory alive can bring comfort and help you feel closer to them. This could be through a small daily ritual, creating a memory book, or doing something that they enjoyed. Honoring them doesn’t mean you’re stuck in the past; it’s about keeping a part of them with you in a way that brings peace.
Try This: Plant a tree, start a small charity fund in their name, or simply dedicate time each week to do something they loved. These small actions can make you feel like they’re still a part of your life.
4. Take Care of Yourself, One Day at a Time
Loss can make it easy to forget about your own needs, but taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally is essential. Eating well, sleeping enough, and moving your body can give you the energy and clarity to face the day. It’s not about ignoring the pain; it’s about giving yourself the strength to carry it.
Start Small: Aim for one small act of self-care each day—whether it’s a walk, a healthy meal, or a moment of rest. Taking care of yourself is a way to honor both your life and the life of the person you loved.
5. Allow Yourself to Experience Joy Without Guilt
It’s normal to feel guilty for moments of happiness after a significant loss. But finding joy doesn’t mean you’re forgetting or dishonoring them—it means you’re learning to live with the loss. Allow yourself to laugh, experience new things, and feel joy when it comes. These moments are signs of healing, and it’s okay to embrace them.
Tip: Remind yourself that your loved one would want you to find happiness. Feeling joy again is part of honoring their memory and the positive impact they had on your life.
6. Find Purpose in Your Own Life
When you lose someone you lived for, it can feel like your life has lost its purpose. This doesn’t mean you have to “move on” completely, but finding a new source of meaning or purpose can help. You might explore new hobbies, causes, or even simple daily routines that bring a sense of fulfillment.
Try This: Take small steps toward something that feels meaningful to you. It could be volunteering, joining a club, learning a new skill, or spending time with others you care about. Building small moments of purpose can gradually help create a life that feels full again.
7. Embrace the Process, Knowing It’s Okay to Take Your Time
Grief doesn’t follow a schedule, and it’s normal to feel ups and downs. Some days may feel manageable, while others are overwhelming. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel however you feel, and that healing is not a straight path. Take each day as it comes, and be gentle with yourself.
Tip: When a tough day hits, don’t feel pressured to “move on” or be okay. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you’re feeling. Healing is a personal journey, and there’s no rush.
8. Seek Professional Support If Needed
Sometimes, the weight of loss feels too heavy to bear alone. If you’re struggling to cope, a grief counselor or therapist can help you work through the pain in a safe, supportive space. Therapy can provide tools for processing grief and finding a way forward that feels meaningful and true to you.
Consider This: Even if you’re hesitant, reaching out for help can provide relief and comfort. A professional can help you navigate emotions and find healthy ways to cope, especially when things feel overwhelming.
Moving Forward, One Step at a Time
Living after losing someone dear to you doesn’t mean forgetting them or moving on without them. It’s about learning to carry their memory with you, finding a new way to experience life, and allowing yourself to heal. Each step forward is a testament to the love you shared and a way to honor their place in your heart.
Remember, healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means learning to live in a way that honors their memory, finding joy again, and building a life that reflects the strength they helped you find. Take it one day at a time, and know that it’s okay to feel both sadness and hope as you move forward.