How to Support a Friend with Mental Health Issues Without Losing Yourself

When a close friend is struggling with mental health issues, you naturally want to be there for them. But while being a supportive friend is important, it’s also crucial to take care of your own emotional well-being. It can be tough to strike that balance—helping your friend without burning yourself out. So, how do you manage being a caring friend while also making sure you don’t get overwhelmed in the process? Let’s talk about it.

Set Healthy Boundaries

We’ve all heard about the importance of boundaries, but what does that actually mean when you’re trying to support a friend? Boundaries aren’t about pushing someone away—they’re about making sure both you and your friend have a healthy, respectful space in your relationship.

You don’t have to be available 24/7 to be a good friend. If you’re constantly answering calls, texts, or dropping everything to help them, you’ll eventually feel drained. Let your friend know when you’re available to talk and when you need time to yourself. It’s not selfish to have limits; it’s necessary for your mental health.

Practice Active Listening

One of the best ways to support a friend with mental health issues is simply by listening. Often, people don’t need advice or solutions—they just need to feel heard. Active listening means being fully present in the conversation without getting distracted or trying to fix things right away.

But here’s the trick: you don’t have to take on all their emotional weight. You’re not their therapist, and it’s okay to acknowledge that. Sometimes, just saying, “I’m really sorry you’re going through this, but I don’t have the emotional capacity to help right now. Can I support you in another way?” is enough.

Encourage Professional Help

It’s important to recognize that while you can be a great source of emotional support, you aren’t a substitute for professional help. If your friend’s mental health struggles seem to be more than you can handle, gently encourage them to seek therapy or counseling. You could say something like, “I care about you a lot, and I think talking to a professional could really help you manage what you’re going through.”

Offering to help them find resources, whether it’s a therapist or a support group, can also be a good way to show you’re supportive without overextending yourself.

Take Care of Yourself First

It’s like the safety instructions on a plane—you have to put on your own oxygen mask before helping someone else. If you’re not mentally and emotionally well, it’s hard to be there for someone else. Make sure you’re prioritizing self-care, whether that’s taking time for hobbies, spending time with other friends, or just relaxing on your own.

Check in with yourself regularly: Are you feeling overwhelmed or exhausted from supporting your friend? If so, it might be time to step back and recharge. It’s okay to need a break—it doesn’t mean you care any less about your friend.

Communicate Openly and Honestly

Honest communication is key in any friendship, especially when one person is dealing with mental health issues. If you’re starting to feel overwhelmed or unsure of how to help, talk to your friend about it. Let them know how much you care but also be clear about what you need for your own emotional well-being.

For example, you could say, “I really want to be here for you, but I’m also feeling a bit stretched right now. Can we talk about how I can support you in a way that works for both of us?” This keeps the conversation open while also maintaining your own boundaries.

Don’t Take Responsibility for Their Healing

Remember, you’re not responsible for fixing your friend’s mental health. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that if you just do enough, say the right thing, or are there for every tough moment, you’ll somehow make everything better. The truth is, healing is a personal journey, and your friend has to take responsibility for their own mental health.

You can be a supportive companion on that journey, but you can’t carry them the whole way. Make peace with the fact that your role is to offer support, not solutions.

Lean on Your Support System

Supporting a friend through a mental health struggle can take a toll on you too, which is why it’s so important to have your own support system. Talk to other friends, family members, or even a therapist about what you’re going through. Having your own outlets for stress and emotional support will make it easier to balance helping your friend without feeling overwhelmed yourself.

Know When to Step Back

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you may reach a point where continuing to support your friend isn’t sustainable for your own mental health. It’s okay to recognize when you need to take a step back. This doesn’t mean abandoning your friend, but rather acknowledging that you need to focus on yourself for a while.

You can still check in on them, send encouraging messages, or offer to hang out in low-pressure situations, but make sure you're taking the time you need to recharge.

Conclusion

Balancing support for a friend with mental health issues and maintaining your own well-being can feel tricky, but it’s entirely possible. By setting boundaries, encouraging professional help, practicing self-care, and communicating openly, you can be a supportive friend without losing yourself in the process. Remember, it’s not selfish to take care of yourself—you can’t pour from an empty cup.